Why Sexy Vietnamese girls will be serial cheaters for decades to come..
INTRODUCTION: Why Sexy Vietnamese girls will be serial cheaters for decades to come…
Vietnamese girls are without doubt some of the most beautiful in the world. Petit, fun loving, often out going , open minded and religiously free, Vietnamese girls have a lot going for them that other cultures lack. Finding a man local or foreign – is relatively easy with such attractive attributes, but tragically for so many – deep underlying cultural issues consistently sabotage the 21st Century fairy tale relationship they all so desperately desire. Serial cheating results and is commonplace, – a way of life – and its widespread acceptance propagates the disastrous ending to so many budding young love stories..
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Why Do Vietnamese Girls Cheat On Their Partners?
Economic Necessity
The average wage in Vietnam is around 5mill Vietnamese Dong/ month. ( 215 USD) That’s working 6 days a week , 8-12 hours a day. A university graduate can expect 6 mill or 7 if lucky, but will be expected to work even longer hours ( up to 16/day) for the extra cash.
Cost of tiny room around 3-4 mill/ month, utilities and food 2 mill/month for basic existence. Add entertainment ( many venues have western prices), medical expenses, transport expenses ( motorbike costs 50 mill new) and its easy to see its simply not economically viable to rent by yourself and live a ‘normal’ life.
As a result for the vast majority of the ( poorer) population, families occupy rooms, and extended families of families occupy houses. There’s no money for luxuries or travel – its just work work work and live pay check to pay check.
Unlike Western culture, the young in Vietnam are expected to earn the dollars to look after the old. There is no superannuation or government pension for the masses. Young Vietnamese girls are encouraged to enter the workforce early and find jobs and/or wealthy suitors and hand out the spoils to help the extended family. Economic reality.
On top of this the economic divide between the Haves and Have-Nots is gaping to say the least and far wider in Vietnam than most of its Asian neighbours. With 97 million people the majority are poor – but there are plenty of seriously wealthy and privileged.
The backbone of Vietnamese culture is built on corruption – if you’re willing to pay – you will get what you want. Everything from goods and services to job opportunities is for sale at “market price.” Most Vietnamese must bribe their way into a high paying job, often the wealthy family foots the bill.
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The current “fee” to become a Vietnam Airlines (VNA) flight attendant is around 250 – 750 mill VND ($11-33000 USD) total. The job pays around 15-18 mill VND/month. ($800 USD pre-Covid19.) VNA only accepts attractive girls – who pay upfront – and often they are subjected to having to sleep with recruiters or those in charge before they even get the chance to pay the joining fee. ( Hanoi Medical staff are notorious for this – if you want to pass the medical you have to come out with us tonight, and “extras” need to be paid in the hotel room or you fail and perhaps will never get another chance..)
Pilot – 25,000 USD is often the cost under the table to one of the executives for a foreigner, and similar for a local. Pilot pay is high by local standards, but still only around 1500 USD/ m (pre – Covid19) for a local first officer.
The same in banking and finance, government jobs, pretty much every job that is above the petty national standard wage of 5 mill/ month. Once in the job the corruption cycle continues. Money changes hands at every level and advantage is taken of any position – initially to recover the exorbitant fee of entry. Smuggling goods is commonplace for International flight attendants – just pay the fee to customs agents. The fee, of course, is negotiable.. money or…??
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The endemic corruption and simple economic reality of the system is geared toward satisfying an ancient Male dominated society, where those in power (99% males) have free reign to enjoy essentially everything – they want. The norm is tragic – young girls – smart or not – looking to get ahead have a shocking choice. Pay the fine AND pay with sex – or stay at the bottom of the heap and live a vastly inferior life. In some ways the average lookers are far better off, as the pressure is just to pay – not to pay ‘extra.’
Its not just getting high paying jobs which push the girls into unwanted sex. Simply living well enough to have a few meagre luxuries means extra money has to come from somewhere, and the Mistress culture provides the means. Once again – the male dominated society is suited perfectly – those in power know beautiful young girls have next to nothing and a shitty life. A monthly “support fee” suits both parties needs. Those with most power sponsor the most beautiful girls, the girls get the taste of the upper class – and never want to give it up. Its seemingly perfect – just a couple of times a week – if that – to get access to money, travel, and 5 star luxury. For so many brought up with nothing its simply an offer they cant bring themselves to refuse.
Thats the top of the tree of course. The male buying the Mistress culture goes right down the wealth tree to those who can afford anything extra to the lifestyle they’re comfortable with. Its all relative – girls need money to survive a “normal” comfortable life – so they accept what they can achieve. Market forces.
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Cultural Acceptance
The widespread prevalence of the “sponsored” lifestyle is sadly, not just a necessary part of life for the single young girls. Often they have boyfriends already – truly in innocent love, and usually in the same economic situation as them. Everyone knows the cost of getting a good job. Pay or it doesn’t happen. How do you pay if there’s no money. Yep – usually its sex. Either a one off or a an “arrangement” with someone further up the tree. The often very young boyfriends have the choice of no better life for the both of them – or accept it. This goes for the Mistress culture of the more powerful too. The reality is – better to have a girlfriend who is sponsored and has an apartment and money – than living in squalor with barely enough time or space to enjoy even each other. Indeed many Vietnamese men recognise this early and deliberately align themselves with a “good earner” – to further their own ambitions. Acceptance as the ‘norm’ happens early in life.
Groups of young Vietnamese girlfriends will regularly go out to dinner with all their boyfriends, and all parties are aware and accept that sometimes the older sponsor might take the place of the usual partner. The sponsor usually pays so everyone is happy. Different night and different sponsor – no problem. The young boyfriend accepts it, the peer group accepts it – it’s not “prostitution” – its just economic survival – and no-one bats an eye.
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Adoration Of The Sexist Beauty Culture
Vietnam has very little or no political correctness when it comes to glorification of young and sexy female bodies.
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ViteJet airlines advertising consistently uses ‘politically incorrect’ scantily clad beauties
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Every street corner has a local restaurant with beautiful Vietnamese girls dressed in short sexy skirts selling beer or promoting something. Its a sought after job – money for jam – AND the chance to meet some wealthy guys perhaps that might take a liking..
Nightclubs have dozens of ‘entertainment staff’ to service high rollers. Pretty young girls must sit drink and cuddle those who pay the big bills. Streets of ” Hostess” bars exist in the cities – full of gorgeous young girls paid commission to drink or play pool or games with the customers.
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Every Vietnamese company employs young sexy girls as “Sales staff.” Their job is to come to dinner/ bars , karaoke or other functions to drink with and “entertain” prospective clients. Its commonplace all through Asia – but particularly in Vietnam.
The younger the better – society glorifies female beauty and youth – a massive (expensive) salon and spa industry exists to prolong the glory days. Over 28 in Vietnam is considered old for a girl – and there is ZERO age gradient constrictions that Western cultures subconsciously apply to relationships. A 60 year old man with a 20 year old beauty is the norm. – accepted 100%. Why would he choose an old girl that’s ‘past her use by date?’
This concept alone is totally unacceptable in Western culture – but equally – young and old Vietnamese cannot understand the “backward” Western culture.
Unfortunately this contributes to the desensitisation process of relationship morals in young Vietnamese woman. From barely 18 they are swept into the clutches of older – wealthier – more powerful and experienced men – many who are already on their fourth or fifth mistress. The pretty girls in particular – are well aware of their looming ‘Use By Date’ – and pursue aggressively any opportunities to escape the crappy hand they have been dealt. Young sweet true love either never prevails, or is kept secret to keep the sugar flowing…
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Economic Necessity That Breeds Cultural Acceptance
The combination of the Male dominated corruption endemic in the upper echelons of Vietnamese society and the economic necessity of sex to survive for those without, breeds further cultural acceptance of sex outside relationships. Its necessary, hence commonplace – therefore its normal – and accepted as such.
Ironically, and unhelpfully, many traditional Vietnamese are very conservative – and outwardly consider even pre -marital sex as taboo. The result is mixed messages to the young girls – and the better ‘not to tell’ culture develops from there. They leave home – know they can’t survive without some sort of sponsor or pay with sex deal – so they hide it from the parents for fear of the consequences. The concealment – hide it – ‘cheating’ starts at home – even with a modern normal relationship with boyfriend and con-sexual sex. Often – in slightly higher society – the father has hypocritically had a mistress when the kids were young – which as they mature they come to realise. This reinforces the cultural acceptance, and the ‘secrecy’ continues.
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Cultural Acceptance With Social Media Breed Copycat Cases
Once the society is geared to accept the payment/salary /sponsorship culture further complications set in. Modern social media is exacerbating the cycle.
Young girls watch online others climb up from nothing – from rags to riches virtually overnight – and want a piece of the action. The implied stories of how easy it is, the obvious change in circumstances, feed the dreams of the social media babies. Unrealistic expectations and fairytale endings have never been more exaggerated by modern day social media. Young Vietnamese girls live for the dream of posting the instagram photos of luxury and high life they’re endlessly exposed to. They wanna be just like them and see it happen – and the once extra ‘5’ million a month is no longer the goal.
The desires become greater, greed overcomes any last sense of morality and the result is many Vietnamese girls end up having MULTIPLE sponsors, to feed the ever increasing needs. Why post Nikes when you can post Channel. Why a picture of Danang beach when Maldives is possible. More sponsors needed!
Why post Nikes when you can post Chanel
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The unfortunate truth is that the exaggerated tales of success push more and more innocent girls into the cycle of deceit. Multiple sponsors mean serious secrecy and deception – men with mistresses are not happy if the mistress is “playing around” on them. They are powerful and paying so they demand ‘loyalty’. The Vietnamese girls want more though – so they become experts at deception. They can’t get caught or the word is out! – and they might lose everything!!
Instead of looking down at such destructive actions – tragically – Vietnamese society now idolises those who can pull off the multiple sponsor deal – especially with some high paying players. To be a copycat is encouraged – you’re crazy NOT to try! Look at what SHE managed to get!!
Social Media – Serial Cases “Normalise It” And The Deception Cycle Continues..
And so the serial cheater is born. Deception is commonplace now in modern Vietnamese culture – particularly amongst the prettiest of the Vietnamese girls and not at all looked down upon by their peers. The opposite now happens, and peer pressure is to deceive – see what you can get!! Even without sleeping with a wealthy target – leading him on to get a five star dinner and fine wines, gifts on meeting, or even an afternoon at a five star apartment or hotel pool is considered a great idea! Why not! No need to like the guy at all – just take what you can get! Facebook and Instagram are littered with pretty young Vietnamese girls’ bragging images of successful campaigns. Pictures of 5 star hotel pools and restaurant meals feature endlessly on every social media platform – usually with the recipient of the spoils – but NEVER with the sponsor. Deception prevails..
Even without sleeping with a wealthy target – leading him on to get a five star dinner and fine wines, gifts on meeting, or even an afternoon at a five star apartment or hotel pool is considered a great idea! Deceit is now cultural, encouraged by peers – and Instagram is littered with young Vietnamese girls’ bragging images of successful campaigns…
Pictures of 5 star apartment or hotel pools and restaurant meals feature endlessly on every social media platform – usually with the recipient of the spoils – but NEVER with the sponsor. Deception prevails..
So prevalent is this peer pressure now, Vietnamese girls also consider such deceit as a means of payback to boyfriend who they’re angry with. Instead of rational discussion of the problem – its game on – sneakily go out with some wealthy dudes! Satisfy an ill thought out desire to punish and see what gifts, money, dinners or other they can get out of it in the process! Nothing to lose! Even better if the boyfriend never actually finds out – inwardly I made him pay so all good! Worst case – boyfriend finds out – either gets jealous or dumps me. Ok so then just keep the new sponsor. Win Win! Go for it girl! say the friends cheering on… No pressure from society NOT to do it – just the opposite – so what’s wrong with it?😩
In the numerous ‘Hostess Bars’ Foreigners are like lambs to the slaughter and get swindled for thousands..
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Foreigners – especially younger naive ones – are like lambs to the slaughter – and get swindled for thousands. Its sport now – secrecy prevails – the more deceptive the better! Its at the stage now such Vietnamese girls openly brag about how many rich guys they have on the books to their friends – social media amplifies it – they have enough money already so now its a game. The ever expanding bigger and bigger cycle continues… Deception and lies prevail. A world of hurt for so many awaits when inevitably the deception fails and the fallout occurs.
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Not ALL Vietnamese Girls Are Caught In The Web Of Deceit.
Fortunately – as with everything – its difficult to generalise and there are still plenty of beautiful young Vietnamese girls who have sidestepped the payment for a job , mistress and deceit culture. They’re the truly lucky ones in reality – and whilst they may only have a very difficult life – certainly not with any luxuries – they escape the abundant misery that so often accompanies the ambitious ones. Marriage and kids with a partner who hangs around ( all too often not the case with young Vietnamese men) also seems to centre the most aggressive opportunists. Kids no doubt bring focus back to the joys of non- material things..
All too often true love gets sacrificed for perceived economic necessity in Vietnam – what could have been never becomes – greed corrupts the process. So many girls after the ‘multiple sponsor’ get found out – the deception fails – they are earmarked as such and left miserable and with nothing.
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Looking Objectively – Its Not Really Their Fault..
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If one looks objectively however – its not really their fault. The male dominated society, ancient culture, economic circumstance, glorification of youth and beauty , endemic corruption and now social media influence has pushed all of the balance out of their favour. Little or NO peer pressure counters the cycle now – in fact the opposite is true. Deception is good. Greed is good! Opportunity is abundant for the sexiest of the young Vietnamese girls. It takes a strong willed, intelligent and or lucky girl to for-see the long term pitfalls of the pressure to comply.
The truly tragic and sad reality of this whole vicious cycle means virtually no escape for most Vietnamese girls. They are born into a culture where deception is encouraged as the norm, sex is accepted as payment , – and as a result will be serial cheaters for decades to come.. Vietnamese culture is not going to change anytime soon.
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You Can Still Be Rich Even If You Don’t Have A Lot Of Money
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“Ordinary material wealth can be stolen; but truly precious things cannot. No one can take away the infinitely precious things from your soul”
Oscar Wilde. – ( Won’t be taught in Vietnamese schools anytime soon…😢)
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Vietnamese equivalent to Oscar Wilde is
“TIEN LA TAT CA” – translation – “Money Is All”
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: I have lived and worked throughout most parts of Asia for 30 years. I have had personal first hand experience and/or information in relation to many of the topics discussed in this post.
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